Join groups where people talk about the stuff you want to talk about.Steve Moga
I’m standing around in my kitchen heating up some pasta and meat sauce for the boys of my house. Penny is having cheese for dinner. Whatever. Her and I just got back from my visit to the salon, which was not what it used to be. As you might imagine the usual pampering of customers with hot tea and fizzy water service is now a pre-COVID thing of the past. We had to wear our masks the entire time, and when Penny decided to switch chairs for the 5th time, the girl at the counter (finally) told me that, per the customer policy, additional people are not allowed to join appointments, kids included. I suppose they were going to just let it be until they saw that Penny was only going to touch every chair in the salon.
They let me finish my session where I got highlights in the front to, you know, hide the fact that I’m sprouting grey hairs. It’s a reverse-hiding. It’s a “my light hair is so in plain sight that maybe you won’t notice” hiding. Now I feel, sort of, like a lion? Or like Poppy. Steve has walked past me twice and said nothing. Nick came and collected his dinner, same thing. Boys!
I started reading (okay, audiobook) This is Marketing, by Seth Godin. I had always thought his books were business/entrepreneur centric, and they are, but his thesis transcends the business domain. In the first few chapters he introduces this idea of psychographics, which is the classification of people according to their attitudes, beliefs, aspirations, etc. It’s a marketing term, but when I look at this definition, it sounds a lot like a tribe, in the contemporary sense.
So, when I complained to Steve this afternoon about this women alumni Facebook group I was invited to, and how I was dismayed at the types of conversations that were taking place, Steve said, very plainly, that I should find another group. It hadn’t dawned on me that perhaps the group or “tribe” that I thought I belonged to by virtue of my gender or being a mom or being all these things plus a military person, is not actually the group I share common attitudes or beliefs with. Perhaps this psychographics idea is a better way to think about where we belong, instead of the usual demographic criteria.